I want this so badly...

...I just have no idea where I would put it.

I hate my body.

Wolf in Sheep's clothing

You were the one to make me feel small. You were the one to make me doubt my friends. Doubt that they care, that they actually like me, that they don't talk behind my back. You were the one to make me feel like I'm just a person to see when you have nothing else to do and no one else to hang out with. I thought we were friends after knowing each other for so long, but you make me feel hurt and used and worthless. I hope you're happy.

New Image

So I got my hair cut today. It's a lot shorter than I wanted it to be. The girl you cut it must have misunderstood me when I said how short I wanted it. My friends seem to like it, but I'm still in the "I don't know" stage. I've never had my hair this short and it feels weird. Kyle says I look like I'm from the 60s, haha. I guess maybe I'll grow like it. My hair grows pretty fast, so maybe it won't be too bad.

Dinner and Dessert

I came home this weekend to get away from school and to try and be productive. I have so much work to do because the end of the semester is almost here. Most of the weekend was spent helping my parents build a ramp so that my dad could answer the front door when my mom and I aren't home. My mom gave me a cookbook to take back to school. She let me pick out a recipe for dinner and dessert while I was home to try and make. I'm slowly getting better and more comfortable cooking without her supervising, haha. I forgot my camera at school so I don't have any pictures, but I'm going to post the recipes.

For dinner I made Bacon and Sun-dried Tomato Alfredo Pasta.

Ingredients: 8 ounces uncooked multi grain penne, 1 (10 ounce) package of light Alfredo sauce, 1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes cut into strips, 4 slices precooked bacon, 1/4 cup of chopped fresh basil, and 1/4 teaspoon of freshly ground black pepper.

Alright, so start by cooking pasta, without salt and fat; drain and keep warm. If you're not used to cooking mutli grain pasta it's a good idea to let it sit a bit longer, because multi grain and whole wheat pastas take a little long to soften up.

While your pasta is cooking combine the Alfredo sauce and your sun-dried tomatoes in a sauce. Cook the sauce and tomatoes over low heat for about 6 to 8 minutes or until thoroughly heated and tomatoes are juicy and plump. Stir the sauce and tomatoes occasionally. While your sauce is cooking, microwave the bacon according to package directions. Once your bacon is done, crumble it up and set it aside.

Next combine your pasta and Alfredo sauce in a large serving bowl. Top with the crumbled bacon, basil, and black pepper.

I really liked this recipe. It was simple and quick to make. This was my first time cooking and eating sun-dried tomatoes and I'll admit that I'm not a huge fan of them. The next time I make this recipe I'm going to substitute the tomatoes for broccoli. You could put chicken or shrimp, or your favorite vegetable if you'd like.

For dessert I made Fresh Berry Crunch.

Ingredients: 2 cups of raspberries, 1 cup of blueberries, 3/4 reduced-fat sour cream, 1 teaspoon of sugar, 6 reduced fat-free shortbread cookies, such as Keebler Sandies.

First start off by preheating your broiler. Combine the raspberries and blueberris into a bowl. Spoon 1/2 cup of berries into each of 6 (6 ounce) custard cups, or you could use small bowls like I did. Top each serving with 2 tablespoons of sour cream and 1 teaspoon of sugar.

Next you crumble 1 cooking over each custard cup, or bowl. Broil for 1 minute or until the cookie is golden. It took two minutes for the cookies to become golden when I did it. After they're golden you take them out of the broiler and serve. I mixed the sour cream, cookie crumbles, and berries around in my bowl. You don't have too, my parents didn't and they still liked it. It's just a personal preference.

I LOVED this dessert a lot. It's a really healthy and delicious dish. At first I was skeptical of how the sour cream would turn out with everything. I like sour cream a lot, but I never pictured that it would go well with fruit. It mixes perfectly with the fruit and helps prevent the berries from being too tart or too sweet.

On a side note -- After dessert my dad and I were talking about cars. He's going to pay for driving school when the semester ends. I can't drive our car because it's a huge van and my feet don't reach the pedals. So we have to use a car from a driving school so I can use it for the road test. I've driven the loop around school a few times in a friend's car and I really like driving. He said that if I could get about half the money for a used car that he would pay for the other half. I think we decided on getting a used Ford Focuse Sedan. He said that those run about 1,500 and he started asking my mom about how much money we have. I actually think that I'm going to be getting a car this summer and I'm super super excited about it!

I am holding half an acre...

New Beginning

So I finally got a new phone. My old one was over two years old and recently started screwing up. My mom's phone had stopped charging because of a bent screw so she told me that we were going to upgrade once my spring break started. The camera on my old phone stopped working and it stopped holding a full charge. After one phone call it would say low battery and eventually I stopped being able to get calls or texts randomly. So my parents and I picked out the phones we wanted and ordered them. My mom ordered them on Monday and they had told us 2-3 days, but they came today! Good looks AT&T.

My mom and dad both got the same Samsung a777 slider phone. My mom got it in red and my dad in blue. It's a good phone for my dad who's only got one good hand since his left side is paralyzed. We got it all set up for him today and so far he really likes it. Originally I was going to get the Blackberry Pearl. I know a few people with the phone and I really liked it. Unlike the other phones, that were free with the upgrade, the Blackberry would have been $50 extra. That was fine since I told my mom that I would pay for it. However after talking to an AT&T representative and looking at their website the Blackberry would have been an extra $30 on the phone bill each month. I don't have the money to pay for that and I didn't want my mom to have to pay it each month. So instead I chose the LG Neon in blue. Almost all of the phones I've own have been LG and I really like them.

It's very different from my old phones. All my previous phones have been flip phones and I've gotten used to using T9 to text. Now I've got a keyboard and it slides open. It's so new, but I'll eventually get used to it.

On a side note -- I really think everyone should check out this band The Vigilance Committee. They're a great band! They're actually a band that was formed at Purchase, which is surprising cause there aren't too many Purchase bands that I like. My parents also like them, and we don't usually have similar music tastes. I think my favorite song of theirs right now is Building Bridges. They also have a Myspace and their own website, http://www.wix.com/thevigilancectte/thevigilancecommittee. Check them out!

Spring Break 2010...

...so far you suck.

Friendship...

...it doesn't matter what you look like.

Happy little homemaker

Today I finally got to do my baking. Originally I wanted to try making tarts, but apparently I'm the only one in the house that likes them, haha. So after looking through a couple of my mom's cookbooks I decided on making focaccia. The Weight Watchers cookbook gives a standard recipe and three topping recipes to go along : potato and tomato, feta cheese, and onion and roasted red peppers. I decided to go with the onion and roasted red peppers since I know everyone likes onions and peppers in my house.

I don't have a link to the exact recipe, but when I look through the cookbook I'll copy and post the recipe here if anyone wants it. It was a little bit harder to make this because I've never worked with yeast or dough before. The first time we used the yeast it didn't foam like it was supposed to so I had to get rid of it and try it again. Thankfully my mom had a food processor, which makes the whole thing much easier. I had to wait for the yeast to foam. Put 2 cups and 2 tablespoons of flour, 2 tablespoons of whole wheat flour, and a teaspoon of salt, in the food processor. Once the yeast was foamed I added it to the food processor and turned it on. After a short while the mixture turned into dough. I had to spray a large bowl and place the dough in it, cover loosely with plastic and leave it to rise for an hour.

After that I had to punch down the dough before rolling it into a ball. I sprayed a baking sheet and placed the dough down into a circle about 10inches wide. Again I covered it with plastic to let it rise for about 30 minutes. Then I had to cut up the onions and the red pepper and saute them for about 10 minutes. I set the oven to preheat at 425 degrees. Next I had to uncover the dough and put dimples in the dough and place the onions and peppers on top. I placed it in the oven for about 20 minutes and then served it at room temperature when it was done.

Top of the focaccia. Ignore my shadow.

Onions and roasted red peppers focaccia

I really enjoyed making this and it turned out pretty well. It tasted delicious to me and my family loved it. The only thing is that it's supposed to be a bit thinner, but I think I did ok for my first time. We served this at dinner along with sausage and peppers, which my mom made, and penne pasta and Brilla sauce, which I made. I'm pretty satisfied with my first try at making focaccia. I might try the potato and tomato one next time I decided to make focaccia.

"Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies"

I finally got to see my best friend Jaleesa for the first time since the end of the summer. Thanksgiving and most of Christmas break she had to go stay out at her mom's place in Maryland. She's staying in New York for the last week of her break, which is longer than mine so I only get a weekend with her. Her dad's place is in Brooklyn near the same train I live by so she took the train out to my stop and then we both went to the nail salon I go to. The gift certificate I had could only be used once, which kind of sucked cause I wanted to use it a few times just to get my eyebrows done. In the end I ended up getting my eyebrows done, a manicure and a pedicure, which I had never done before. The pedicure tickled a lot. I might consider doing that more often because the foot massage that comes with it was so relaxing, haha.

Jaleesa and I, summer 2008 -- taken by Kriztille

January 2009

Kriztille was supposed to come over too. My mom made meatloaf for her cause she loves my mom's meatloaf and I was going to make Daddy Nachos for her and Jaleesa. She didn't end up waking up until 6pm, haha. So she couldn't come over. Jaleesa came over and we hung out for a bit. She was going to stay for dinner, but then her dad wanted her home. My mom sent her home with some food though. It was so awesome seeing her again. I love that girl so so much and I don't get to see her that much until summer, which makes me very sad.

On a side note -- It kind of bugs me when at the beginning of the week I tell someone when I'm free and then they wait until the last minute to get in touch with me to hang out and by then I already have plans and then they get mad at me for not hanging out.

Family Dates

My parents' anniversary was January 2. I tried to convince my dad to take my mom out to dinner at Milleridge Inn. It's my favorite restaurant ever. We've always gone there for events. We went for my elementary graduation, my confirmation, my birthdays, my ring day, my high school graduation, etc. I am just in love with the place. I'd like to have my wedding reception there, haha. It has a small "village" near it that are little shops associated with the restaurant. He didn't feel well on their anniversary so we ended up not going.

Anyway, last night my mom told me that we were going out for lunch at Milleridge Inn. I was surprised cause we usually have a reason to go out. She told me that my dad said he was going to take us there cause he knew I wanted to go and to celebrate their anniversary. I was so excited to go!

http://www.milleridge.com/

So we drove out to Jericho, Long Island and had an amazing lunch. I had melons and berries, a small salad, london broil with mashed potatoes and carrots, plus a small slice of cheesecake. I had a glass of White Zinfadel with it and got told by the waitress that I looked too young to drink, haha. So I had to show her my id. While waiting for the food I had a few pieces of the cinnamon bread and two popovers, which I love. They're so good.

After lunch, we made a very quick stop to Home Depot. Later on that night my mom and I went over to the Olympic diner to meet up with Iris and Matthew. She's like another mother to me. I love her. My mom and I were both too full to eat anything. She had some tea, while I had hot chocolate and then a Sprite later on. It was so good catching up with Iris. It was the first time I had gotten to see her during this break because she's been so sick. She gave me Christmas gifts, and I swear she was psychic, haha. One of the gifts was a small sparkly purple nail polish, which I loved because I'm almost out of purple nail polish. The next gift was a $20 gift certificate to the nail salon I go too. I was planning on going Saturday to get my eyebrows done, haha. She got me a small set from Bath and Body Works that had three mini lotions in them Cherry Blossom, Moonlight Path, and Peabody. Cherry Blossom and Moonlight Path are my two favorite from Bath and Body Works, haha. She gave me a really night black tube top dress and a pretty brown and beige dress. Matthew got me this awesome purple t-shirt that has a redheaded girl sitting on a skull in an oversized shirt and underwear eating something from a bowl with chopsticks. It was a really great day.

On a side note -- I love watching Ninja Warrior at like 3am on hulu.

A taste of the south

Since summer started I've been slowly learning to cook. I've always been more of a baker, but I thought I should probably start learning, haha. I can make the basic stuff like eggs, pasta, hot dogs, burgers, etc, but actual dinner foods not so much. What I've been doing is looking through my mom's cookbooks and finding recipes that I like. She's usually in the kitchen with me, watching over to make sure I don't mess up.

Last week I made this really yummy chicken and linguine stir-fry. You can find the recipe here if you'd like to try. It's really delicious I ate three helpings, and I never eat that much.

Tonight I decided I wanted to try making Louisiana Stir-Fry. The recipe sounded pretty good and shrimp is one of the few types of seafood that I like. I've also been interested in Cajun cooking recently. I really want to try Jambalaya and Gumbo, just without the fish, haha.

Anyway, here's how it turned out.

If you think it looks good you should try making it. You can find the recipe here! I hope you guys give it a try especially if you like spicy food.

On a side note -- I think I might start making more posts about the foods or desserts I try making.

"Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence"

Merry Christmas...

from my family to yours. Enjoy the holidays.

"There are no strangers on Christmas Eve"

Another early day today. I had to get up and get the laundry together. We had a lot of laundry so the bags were heavy. I put them in the back of the car for my mom. She hadn't been feeling well and was still sore from shoveling during the weekend. While she went out and did some errands I moved some boxes for my dad and helped him clean up his desk. I did a little bit more cleaning around the house. Jon was coming and I didn't want the house to be a total mess, haha. I brought my new computer downstairs to play with while I was waiting for him.

He came around 4ish and hung out at my house. I gave him a piece of banana bread, which was the reason he came haha. Banana bread and banana nut bread are his favorites. He showed me some cool features on Windows 7 and we messed around on the computer some more until my mom called. She needed to get in the drive way so Jon drove around the block so she could get in before pulling back in our drive way. I helped her carry in the groceries and then Jon helped me put them away. We sat and talked for awhile trying to figure out a good place for dessert. We were going to go to Eddie's Sweet Shop, butit was closing at 6 and it was after 5 already and dinner wasn't ready. We set the table and sat down for dinner.

We decided to get milkshakes. I made sure to give Jon some banana bread to take home for him and his parents. We went over to Johnny Rockets at Atlas Park for milkshakes. We both ended up getting fries too, haha. I got a side of ranch to go with my fries before I had a milkshake. I was so full afterwards. He headed back home to start packing. Lucky guy is going on a cruise with his family for like a week or so. I hung out downstairs on my new computer for a bit. My mom needed some help with the laptop so I showed her some more stuff.

I finally got to Skype with my friend Sean! At first Skype was being retarded and my microphone wouldn't work. I had to uninstall it and then re-download and install it again. The audio cut out sometimes but it was still nice talking to him. He's in Japan! I'm so jealous. I've always wanted to go. It was around 10pm, but it was only noon (Christmas day!) in Japan. I got to meet his two cats, who are both very pretty.

Afterwards I got a call from Cory. He was very wasted at a diner and kept asking why I didn't ask him to hang out, but I asked Jon. It was a pretty funny conversation. He was with Bennett too, so I got to talk to him for a bit too. Cory got a new phone and it was kind of hard to hear the conversation. Another good day. I'm kind of excited for Christmas.

On a side note -- I miss my friends at school.

A day with the family.

More doctor appointments today. I ran the battery on my mp3 player down waiting in the waiting room. My mom and dad had a back to back appointment with their cardiologist. I had to wait for them for over an hour. At least I had music to keep me company.

After the appointment we drove over to Bayside to the PC Richards on Northern Blvd. It wasn't too far from the cardiologist. It was another cold day. We had my dad all bundled up. The parking lot at PC Richards is such a tiny mixed up pain in the ass. Once we got my dad out of the car and into the wheel chair we rolled on into the store. It was really packed. I wasn't expecting it, but I should have since it's so close to Christmas. We finally found the computer that had been advertised and was still on sale. After 10 minutes of looking for someone a worker finally came over. I got really disappointed at first because he said he didn't know if they still had the computer in stock, but he went to go check. That upset my parents. My dad was complaining about them still advertising (it was in today's paper too) and it not being in stock. Finally the guy came back with the computer in the box. He kept trying to sell us other things. First it was a computer case, which I already have. Then it was an anti-virus software, which I can download. Next was Windows Office, which I still have the discs from my old one. It came out to about $700 with tax, which isn't too bad for an HP computer. And $375 of it was paid with my money. My dad put it all on his PC Richard credit card. All the Christmas money I received ($375) from family I had already given to him for the computer.

It's funny because Brenda got a Compaq computer from the guy that always buys her stuff for Christmas. Apparently she was complaining about it not having Windows 7 or something the other day and my dad turned around and said that the new one I was getting came with Windows 7. My mom said Brenda had such a shocked look on her face and then complained to my mom (when my dad wasn't around) about him buying me a new computer when he wouldn't buy her one. My mom turned around and told her that I paid for half of it and would pay for the rest of it once I had a job, unlike her who didn't pay for her computer. Later on after dinner my parents and I were talking about what Brenda said. My dad sometimes says stuff about Brenda's complaining and my mom tells him to tell her to her face instead of making my mom say it. He told her that he shouldn't have to because Brenda was her daughter. He said my daughter is right here and pointed to me. It made me a little happy to hear that he cares about me.

We got Wendys on the way home from PC Richards. I love Wendys, it's my favorite fast food place, haha. I ordered their chili, which is sooo good. I hadn't had it in a very long time so I forgot how spicy it was. After lunch I decided I was going to bake some banana bread. While I was waiting for it to bake I decided to set up the new laptop. I'm totally in love with Windows 7. It is so awesome and I absolutely love this new computer. I took the bread out of the oven and let it cool for 20 minutes. As is was cooling I went upstairs to remove the user account on my old laptop. I brought it downstairs and started to set it up for my mom. Once the bread was cool enough I cut a slice for me and my parents. It was really good! I had never baked bread before so I was a little worried about how it would turn out, but I did ok. The parents like it, haha.

I spent the rest of the day transferring everything to my computer and explaining things to my mom about the old one.

On a side note -- I love waking up to a cat on my head, haha.

Last Minute Shopping and Tea Parties

One thing I really hate is waiting for the cable guy. My parents had doctors appointments today so I got stuck waiting for the cable guy. He was supposed to be there between 12 and 4. I had to get up around 11 to help lock up the house and gates after my parents left. I kind of dozed on and off downstairs and listened to music while waiting. He didn't come until 330ish. By that time my parents had come back. I had to take a shower and start getting ready to meet Kriztille.

After dinner I headed out to Forest Hills to meet up with Kriztille. It was so cold out. I really hate winter. It's honestly my least favorite season. The train ride wasn't too bad. I headed over to Barnes and Noble to meet her. It was so awesome seeing her! It had been quite awhile since I had seen her last. Of course Barnes and Noble had to change their stuff around upstairs. I was looking for a Balance Ball for my mom for Christmas and the last time I had seen them there were upstairs. So we walked around the store for a bit before Kriz was able to find one. It came with two DVDs that show exercises to use with it, a stretching strap, the ball, and an inflater. It wasn't too expensive either, it was about 20 plus tax.

Next we headed to Bath and Body Works. I had to get another gift. I was a little annoyed by it honestly. It's for this girl Evelyn, she's my friend Kaitlyn's best friend and I know for a fact that she doesn't even consider me a friend. She hasn't talked to me in a long time and deleted me from Facebook way back before Thanksgiving break. I really can't stand her attitude and personality truthfully because she's such a fake person. She texted me the other day asking when can we exchange gifts. I had no idea that she was buying me a gift and I don't get why since she doesn't consider me a friend. I really hate getting a gift from someone and not having one for them. I always feel bad. So I had to get her a little something.

Of course we couldn't hang out in Forest Hills without getting tea. So we headed to Crepe and Tearia, where we go all the time. I had some really yummy Mixed Flowers tea. We hung out there for a really long time before going to Duane Reade. I needed to buy wrapping paper. I got a big roll that had fat Santas on it. It was pretty cute.

I had a great time. I wish I could see Kriztille more often, especially when I'm away at school. I spent the rest of the night wrapping presents. I'm so bad at it, haha.

On a side note -- being an insomniac at home sucks. At school it's fine cause I can hang out with people, but at home I'm stuck awake by myself with no one to keep me company except my cats and they can't talk.

Sleepovers are the best!

So last night (Sunday December 13) I slept over at Cory and Kyle's room in Fort Awesome. I had the best time ever! It was definitely one of the best sleep overs I'd ever had. Cory's friend/Lauren's boyfriend Matt slept over too. Lauren hung out for a really long time and we managed to get Sean to hang out until 5ish. I tried convincing him to sleep over too, but he lives a floor below them, haha.

I brought my laptop and my external hard drive over. I took a lot of music from Cory and Sean and some awesome anime and tv shows. We took turns creating our characters in Guitar Hero 5. Mine looks awesome, haha. We played for a bit. I started off doing really terrible on easy mode, but the last time I played for the night I got like 85, which is a big improvement for me.

We played Scategories for a long while. Sean and I competed in Peggle, while Cory played UFC. We watched a movie called East Side Story about a gay guy in Hollywood. Haha it was so great. We ordered Campus Wings, which I'll never do again. My stomach hurt so much after only two wings. We watched like 10 minutes of a beaver documentary. Cory went through his Netflix on his Xbox and ignore the suggestions that Kyle and I gave him.

Sean left around 5. We all had the late night giggles. I couldn't stop laughing at one point. It was so great. After Sean left we decided to at least get settled. Matt and I slept on the floor, but instead of going to sleep we started talking again. We all told random stories. I wish I had slept over at the fort before. One of the best nights ever. I remember finally going to sleep around 7. It was around 3 I finally woke up. Matt had been up since 11. Cory and Kyle had been laying in bed. I don't know what time they actually got up. We finally decided to get some food and headed down to Starbucks for some breakfast sandwiches. Sean came along. It was a really shitty day though cause it was cold and rainy.

I didn't feel like changing clothes. I looked really funny walking down to Starbucks in my shorts and a hoody, carrying a bookbag and a pillow and blanket in my hands. We hung out there for a long while. I really didn't feel like walking back to my dorm in the rain, but eventually I did. I saw the guys like two hours later for dinner at the dining hall and then hung out at the fort again, haha. I should just live in their room for the rest of the semester.

On a side note -- I've realized that I have way more guy friends than I do girl friends, haha.

A what did what??!!

It's been a long time since I posted but today really needs a post. It's freezing up here at school. All day I've been layered up against the cold. I had a tank top, a long sleeved turtle neck, a hoodie, my jacket, hat and scarf when I went out. I had just gotten back to my room a little after 6pm. I took off my layers because it was pretty damn hot in my room. I was just lounging in my tank top and sweat pants when I got a text from my friend Cory. It said :

"Car crashed into Starbucks."

I wasn't sure if I believed him until Kyle called asking me if I knew what happened. I didn't and being curious that I am I started to rush over. I forgot my layers. I just threw on my hoodie over my tank top and my jacket. I forgot my scarf, my hat, and my camera, which I had never wished to have more than I did today. I ran over to Starbucks and could not believe it. A car was in the middle of the store. Glass was everywhere, an ambulance and EMTs and the police, and firefighters were inside.Students were crowded around outside. Because I used to work there for so long my first thought was that I hope my friends are alright. I still have friends that work there and I'm close with Oscar the cashier and the managers Sandra and Jaime. Since I didn't have my camera I tried to take a few pictures with my phone. It came out pretty shitty.

I met up with Cory and Kyle and stayed out until about 930ish trying to do some reporting for The Brick, our online newspaper, about what happened and who saw it. It was a crazy day and I was freezing. My feet were numb and still hurt. We still don't have a clear story of what exactly happened yet. The driver is missing and there are a few people in the hospital with injuries. There's already an article on newspaper website.

http://www.lohud.com/article/20091210/NEWS02/91210011/-1/newsfront/Car-crashes-into-Purchase-Starbucks--injures-3

Photos were taken by my friend Sean Tomizawa and can be found on here.

On a side note -- This has been a crazy week.

Happy birthday to me!

21st Birthday! Jon and me

Roomie love, Kaitlyn and me

40 hands for the first time! Jon, me, and Tom

Best birthday ever with the coolest people ever.